


Afflicted

by Rmhraga



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:28:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25713547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rmhraga/pseuds/Rmhraga
Summary: A Continuation of Sanditon 2019 TV Series. My take on a possible Season 2.  I have been inspired by the Sanditon Sisterhood, The Sanditon Survival Book Club, and all you fabulous authors out there writing the fanfics.  This one is simple and strait forward. I wanted to give Sidney a chance to fix things. I have an idea brewing for another modern take on our characters as well.  I am publishing the whole thing at once. Let me know what you all think.
Comments: 46
Kudos: 121





	1. Chapter 1

It had been months since they had last spoken. That final conversation where he told her he was engaged to be married and that he was no longer free to be with her. It was shocking! It was not the conversation that she had been expecting. Then his sad goodbye when he stopped her coach. She was simply devastated. 

For months now she had been melancholy and had a hard time finding any peace. She found herself day dreaming often of what could have been. She found sleep difficult and when she did sleep it was fitful, and her dreams left her filled with longing or anxiety. She found food unappetizing. Then by chance they met on a busy London street out in front of a book shop. 

He was shocked at her sudden appearance before him. He was not prepared, but he should have known she would just show up somewhere unexpected as she had so many times in their past. How would she react to seeing him again? Would she be angry? Would she hate him? He would not hold it against her if she did. After all, it was a mess he had made and she had no choice in it. She was noticeably thinner and had dark circles under her beautiful brown eyes, like she had not been sleeping. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and she took his breath away. He longed to reach out and smooth the worry lines on her face. To run his hands through the soft texture of her hair. To say something witty to bring a smile to her face. Instead what came out of his mouth was, “ Did you find what you were looking for? 

She could not believe he was standing her before her. She looked for him on every street, out of every carriage window. Many times she would believe she spotted him in a crowded street and her heart would leap in her chest, only to have her hopes dashed when it turned out to be another. She did not think she would ever see him again. She felt suddenly light headed and overwhelmed by his presence. His deep baritone voice. He looked a bit gaunt and tired. Could it be that he was just as melancholy as she had been all this time. Surely that was not the case. Surely he had found if not love, then contentment in his marriage. It made her sad to think this might not be the case. She had hoped that even if she was miserable, that he was out there happy in his life. What had he said? She knew he must be referring to books. He could not be asking her about finding him, could he? She clears her throat and replies,” No, Mr. Parker. I was looking for a book on Heraclitus titled,The Fragments of Heraclitus. I was disappointed to find they did not have a copy”. She could no longer hold herself together so she bid him a good day and turned to go. 

“Wait, Wait, Wait”, he says. He touches her gently on the elbow to stop her and whispers,” Charlotte”. He did not think he would ever be able to touch her again, and 

even that little touch sent a shiver down his spine. He looked into her eyes and asked if he could call on her tomorrow. She replies that she does not think it appropriate for a married man to call on an unmarried acquaintance. He says, “ Is that all I am to you Charlotte, and acquaintance”? She indignantly says,” Of course not, Mr. Parker”! He says, “ I am not a married man”! 

Disbelieving her own ears, she asks for an explanation. He tells her that the story would take quite some time to tell and that if she would allow him to call on her the next day he would be more than happy to give her the full account. Worriedly she agrees. What could have possibly happened? 

As he says his goodbyes and walks away from her, he is elated. He is not sure if he has ever felt this happy. Up until now he had only a small amount of hope that all of his dreams would not be dashed. That all his hard work over the last months would be for nothing. How fortuitous it was to bump into her today. He would see her again tomorrow morning and finally be able to tell her he is no longer obligated to another. That he is free to court her if she will have him. He only hopes she still has feelings for him. She never did actually tell him of her feelings. There was not time, but she had kissed him back shyly on the clifftops of Sanditon, which suggested that she reciprocated his feelings. Maybe he was deluding himself. Perhaps she did not feel as strongly as he did. Perhaps it was all a summer adventure for her. Or, she has already moved on in her affections. She might not be able to forgive him for the pain he caused by rashly engaging himself to another. NO! He had to stop thinking like that. He had to believe that she loved him enough that she could see past all of those things and give them a chance at happiness, otherwise he was not sure he wanted to go on. 

Charlotte walks home in a daze, replaying the encounter with Sidney over in her mind. She had hardly been able to look him in the eye. The few glances she had allowed herself brought all her feelings rushing back to her all at once. She had been trying to suppress all those feelings for so long that she was overwhelmed by the force of them. She was so full of doubt. He could not really love her, could he? He could have any woman he chose, and compared to his intended she was plain and without any advantages. She was not pretty enough. She was not rich enough. She was too headstrong, too opinionated. The woman he was engaged to was perfect for him. She could give him everything he needed in life, and he had loved her once. Surely those feelings would come back in time. How could even she hope that he still had feelings for her when compared to that woman? What could he possibly have to say that was important enough to risk his future by calling on her? 

Sidney woke early the next morning after the first peaceful night's sleep that he has had since she left that day. The sun was out and it was a beautiful crisp spring day. He was 

nervous thinking on his day. He broke his fast and time seemed to stand still. It was a while yet before he could respectfully call on Charlotte at Lady Susan's home, so he sat with his tea and contemplated what he would say to her. 

Charlotte woke early, hardly having slept. She had tossed and turned throughout the night, tangled in the bed clothes, her mind racing. She finally fell into a fitful sleep just before dawn. Images of moments with him flashing in her mind. Their early squabbles and the unexplained tension she did not fully understand. He had made her so angry and she did not understand why until she met a beautiful older stranger at a London ball that explained it all to her. “Love is an affliction”, the woman had said. “ like the measles”. She had thought in the moment that what the Lady had said was absurd. Then they danced a waltz together. All her thoughts and feelings came to an epiphany during that dance. He was so smart, strong and attractive. The way he looked at her burned a whole in her soul and made her stomach all aflutter. They fit together so well and all the world fell away. She thought he felt it too, but it was apparent that her feelings were not reciprocated when he spent the rest of the evening in the company of another woman. A woman he had been pining over for a decade. She felt silly and ashamed that for a moment she thought he might be falling for her too. 

Authors Notes:

“The Fragments of Heraclitus” written by a German named Diel in 1903 as per research. There is no known copy in existence of Heraclitus’s only written work titled, “ On Nature”. In his lifetime most works were of an oratory nature. Only fragments of his book still exist, which were compiled by a number system by Diels in his 1903 publication. A man can not step into the same river twice was the opening line of Heraclitus’s written work. I took a little artistic license with the timing here, so please forgive.


	2. Chapter 2

He mounted his horse. He was so befuddled he missed the stirrup on the first attempt and almost fell to the ground. Steady Man, he thought to himself. It would not do to have an accident today. She is waiting for you a short ride away. He was careful as he went. He wanted to make sure that nothing would keep him from her. The ride took him the better part of a half an hour. He still was not sure exactly what to say to her. How could he ask her to forgive him for breaking her heart unnecessarily and for being so short sighted. The only defense he had for that was the length of the time to find a solution was so short. Seven days of hell , while trying to remain hopeful, only to end in failure and heartbreak. Then to make matters worse, after he had broken the news of his engagement to her, he had the audacity to stop her carriage at the cliff tops on the way out of town. What had he been thinking? He had only broken her heart all over again. He could see it plainly on her face. He had only meant to give her a proper parting. To let her know how much she had changed his life and to wish her every happiness. How could she possibly forgive him for being so weak and unfeeling. 

Ready for the day she went down to breakfast early. The rest of the house would not be up for hours. After she broke her fast she wandered down the hall to pick a book in the wonderful library. She would miss this room when she returned home. It was her favorite room in Lady Susan's home. It was extensive with two stories and had thousands of books. Every genre, shape, size and color. There was a big walk-in fireplace at the opposite end of the room from the doorway. The left side was full of large dormer windows with wide window seats full of large overstuffed cushions. The walls were covered in a pale blue-gray silk. In between the windows were some lovely landscape paintings that had been handed down in Susan’s family for generations. On either side of the door and fireplace as well as the whole right side of the room were floor to ceiling built in shelves full to the brim with books to entertain and enlighten one's mind. In front of the fire were a set of four beautiful camel colored leather chairs with matching footstools and small tables in between. They were set in a u shaped configuration. In the very center of the room was a double size desk with a chair on each side that could also double as a map table. 

On the desk was the most wonderful spinning globe model of the earth, with all of its continents and countries mapped out. She liked to spin the globe, close her eyes, and pick a spot with her finger. She would then look the country up in the atlas and read about its culture, religion and food. She would dream about all the places she would love to see. She did this now. She closed her eyes and opened them to Paris, France. Oh, how she would love  
to visit Paris... the city of love. Her thoughts strayed to him and what it would be like if she could travel to Paris with him. Silly, he is an engaged man. She had to stop thinking of him in that way and try to move on with her life. Dwelling would only make her miserable. She looked over the shelves and picked out a book by her favorite poet, Wordsworth. She sat down at the middle window seat and opened to a random page. An hour later she still had not read one work. She found herself staring out of the window looking into the beautiful garden. She just could not concentrate on reading when she was so nervous. What would he look like? What would he have to say? What would she say to him after all this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment


	3. Chapter 3

Sidney finally arrived at his destination, only to contemplate turning around. He was not sure he wanted to face the possibility that Charlotte could not forgive him. That he did not deserve her forgiveness was always at the back of his thoughts. What if she did not want him anymore? He was an unforgivable brute when they first met, but was attracted to her from the very first moment on the cliffs. He was so overwhelmed by his instant attraction that he was rude to her to hide his feelings. What a cad! He had never had trouble talking to women, not even his fiance when they first met. Women always found him quietly charming when he wanted to be. He was never in need of female companionship, so what was the matter with him in regard to this woman? She was beautiful, yes, but he had the attention of many beautiful women. Her eyes were enthralling. They showed so much expression. He could get lost in her eyes. She confounded him at every opportunity, always showing up unexpectedly with her opinions and assumptions. She was a little sheltered and naive. She was quite a bit younger, but she was also well read and intelligent in conversation. She was never boring. She was not like any woman in his experience. He had to convince her that he was sincere. That there was no one else for him and if she did not accept him, well then, he would die a lonely, unhappy bachelor. All of these things rattled around in his mind after he had turned over the reigns of his horse to the stable hand and was pacing back and forth in front of the door. Finally he bucked up his courage and knocked on the door. 

Charlotte was still in the library when the butler came to inform her that he had arrived. She patted her hair and checked herself in the mirror in the hall. She took a deep calming breath and entered the drawing room. There he was, finally, standing at the far end of the room, looking out the window. He had his back to her and she looked at him unawares for a few moments. She took him all in. He was wearing a navy blue overcoat, dark pants and black leather riding boots. He took her breath away! He looked so dashing in blue. She cleared her throat and ordered tea to be brought. He turned towards her and gave her the most beautiful, hopeful smile she had ever seen on his face. She could not help but smile back. “Mr. Parker, so good to see you this morning”. “Charlotte”, “ Are we on such formal terms? Can you not call me Sidney”? She replies that it would not be appropriate to call an engaged man by his given name when they were alone and unchaperoned. He looks her in the eyes and says, “ But I am no longer engaged, Charlotte. Mrs. Campion has decided that I no longer interest her and she  
has told me in no uncertain terms that she has no intentions of marrying me”. Charlotte has to sit and offers him a chair with a concerned look on her face, but does not respond. Sidney knows that look. She has a million questions, but for some reason she is confoundingly silent! “Charlotte, will you not tell me what is on your mind? I promised 

I would give you a full account. Please, I want to tell you everything that has happened since we said goodbye on the cliffs”. “What about the money, Sanditon, your family”?  
“ What will happen to all of them without Mrs. Campion's money”? 

Sidney sits on the settee. “Let me start from the beginning. When you left me on the cliffs that day, I was beside myself with grief. I contemplated throwing myself from the cliff tops to relieve my misery. The only thing that kept me from that fate was the thought of how disappointed you would be if I took that easy way out. I sat for ;the rest of the day until the sun disappeared into the sea. I watched the beauty drain away from the day. As the last rays of light left the sky, I had come to the conclusion that it was impossible for me to live my life without you and that I had to find a way to break my engagement and still save my brother from his fate”. Sidney pauses and takes a sip of his tepid tea and frowns. “ The next morning I rode to London and liquidated all of my assets saving my shipping company’s holdings. It was only a quarter of the debt my brother Tom owed, but I took that money to Lady Denham who agreed to take that as a good faith down payment towards the rest of the debt. With that money we could begin the rebuild on the burned down terrace. I still had to figure out how to raise the rest of the money, but that bought me time. Back in London, I swallowed my pride and told Babington and Crowe the whole sordid story. They both agreed to become partners in my shipping business and with their investment I was able to purchase two more vessels, which brought my fleet to six in total. With the new vessels as collateral, I was able to borrow some seed money from my bank to start a rum distillery in Antigua with an old business partner. “ 

Sidney thought she would be proud of his newest idea for business. Not only would it support the rebuild of Sanditon and recoup the money Tom owed, but it would help him redeem himself by providing a much needed industry and income for the local inhabitants of Antigua that he felt he had wronged by making some of his fortune as a young man in the sugar trade. Since living in Antigua and seeing the horrors and conditions at the sugar plantations, he had always harbored a deep seated guilt for his participation. Had he seen how his money had been made before that trip, he never could have invested in a venture that stripped men of their rights as humans and of their dignity. Sidney looked at this as his way to make amends. That it would also help his family and bring him back to Charlotte was nothing sort of a miracle. 

Continuing, Sidney told her that rum is fast to manufacturer and it has a quick turn around. We called the new company P.B,C. LTD. (Parker, Babington and Crowe). It was a matter of finding appropriate facilities, purchasing equipment and raw ingredients. I sailed immediately out to the island to help my partner with all the initial setup and hiring of men. It felt good to give men a fair living wage for the work they would do for the company. We were able to give twenty men and a dozen women employment. My partner would oversee the Antigua end. The rum production and I would handle the  
shipping and merchandising. Babington and Crowe would help with contacts for distribution and licensing to import and sell our product. It took about six months to get all the particulars worked out and to start receiving shipments. Through Babington’s connections two months after the first shipment we had distribution  
partners in England, Spain, Portugal, and France. We were more successful than I could have ever believed. We have been able to bring in a superior product for less money than our competition because we own the transport ships. Rum is less expensive to manufacture than whiskey so we have a hard time keeping up with demand. We are already set to expand the distillery and hire more labor to meet the needs of our growing set of customers. 

After we had the distillery up and running, I wrote to Lady Denham with a proposal for the repayment of Tom’s debt within five years and the funds to finish the rebuilding of the terrace, with possible expansion for a second set of terraces. The Lady was gratified by my success and agreed to the plan as long as I took personal responsibility for all the financial aspects of our deal and Tom would no longer have any access to the funds. Tom was not pleased with this arrangement, but it was not as if he had any choice in the matter. It was either this or prison. I have only returned from Antigua this last week. Charlotte was silent mulling over all that he had shared. Sidney was confident talking of his business ventures and the project in Sanditon, but now was at a loss for what to say next. He was afraid that if he told her what he wanted, she might just refuse him, so he hesitated. 

Charlotte finally finds her voice and it is angry and shouting. “Why have you kept me in the dark about your plans all this time? Do you not understand how I have suffered all these months? I went home to Willingden that day a shell of who I had been before. I was so melancholy my family did not know what to do with me. I would not talk about it, so they feared the worst. I could not sleep. I could not eat, and I could not even take solis in tears. I had used them all up. Life seemed hopeless and lost all its appeal. It took months before I could even get some semblance of myself back and still, half of me was missing. I corresponded frequently with Mary, Georgianna, Esther, and Lady Susan, hoping and dreading any news of you, but they were all silent on the matter. I have had absolutely no news of you. Do you have any idea how hard that was for me? All of this time, have been planning, and you could have let me know and eased my suffering!” 

Sidney was dismayed by her outburst of angry heated emotions. Of all the possible reactions to his happy news, this was the last one he expected. He felt bereft all of the sudden. He could not breath and his chest hurt. He was sure he had worked so hard to find his way back to her and now it was too late! She would never be able to 

forgive him for all the mistakes he made and the pain he had caused her. He was at a loss for words, so he remained silent. Frustrated and getting angrier by the second  
Charlotte yelled,” Say something”! 

Sidney bows his head and lets out a heavy sigh. “What can I say Charlotte. You are right. Everything you said is right. I have made a horrible mess of the situation. I never meant to hurt you. You must know that is the last thing I ever wanted.” “You did hurt me nonetheless”. “I am so incredibly sorry Charlotte”. “ I am not sure sorry is good enough”! “Sidney, you have gone and made decisions all on your own. Every step of the way. You did not even consult me when your engaged yourself to another. You just went and did it. You never asked me what I wanted, weather I had any ideas for solutions. You made decisions for the both of us without even thinking about giving me an equal say. How naive I was thinking you respected me as your equal. That we could be partners in a future life together. You took my love for granted and then threw me away! How long have you known that Mrs. Campion released you? Why did you not come to me then. Why have you kept me at arms length?” “Please, Charlotte, I am  
truly sorry. Please forgive me. I...I”. Sidney breaks down, bent over quietly crying into his hands. This undoes Charlotte. Seeing this bigger than life, strong, intelligent man quietly crying across the room. It deflates all of her anger. She can not deny that she loves him, more now than ever. When she realizes he has suffered just as much as she has. She crosses the room and sits quietly by his side and gathers him into her arms. He lets it all out, every bit grief and anxiety over losing her and working tirelessly to get back to her. All the fear of failing and being too late. Finally, emotionally spent, he rights himself and apologizes again for his emotional outburst. Charlotte looks him in the eyes, wipes the remnants of his tears off his cheeks and tells him not to be silly. They both smile at the irony of the situation. “Perhaps we should have some hot tea. My mother always told me a good cup of hot tea could fix any situation”.


	4. Chapter 4

After the tea is served, Charlotte asks him when and how he came to be free of Mrs. Campion? Refreshed and hopeful again, he explains that she was furious that he wanted to put off the wedding to go start his business in Antigua. She said she would give him the money he needed for his little town and they could get married now. I did not want to take her money and be indebted to her for the rest of my life. I had already realized engaging myself with her was a hasty and not well thought out plan, but with the deadline looming I had been desperate. I had already decided on the clifftop after your carriage rolled away that I had made the worst mistake of my life. That I could not survive without you by my side and that I would do anything in my power to make it right. So, when I told Mrs. Campion that we would not be married right away, that I was going to Antigua for six months to set up my business and that we would talk about marriage upon my return, she forbade me to go. I walked out of her home, booked passage on the first ship to Antigua and left her with a note saying I would write. Six weeks later I was in Antigua. I wrote telling her of my safe arrival and of all my plans. I then got busy. Several months passed and I finally received a letter from her. Eliza had engaged herself to an Earl. They would be married by the time the letter reached me. She released any claim on me and wished me well. I wanted to write to you immediately, but Tom still owed Lady Denham sixty thousand pounds. I could not come to you or your father and ask for your hand when my family and reputation were in such dire straits. Your father would never agree. So, I threw myself into work to build the business so that I could come back to you free and respectable. I planned to come to you next week in Willingden with the happy news and to ask for your hand. I was at the book shop yesterday to find a present to give you. To my happy surprise, there you were. I had no idea that you were in London. I had not even contacted my family and friends about my return, you were my first priority. “ How did you come to be in London?”   
“Well, that is easy, Susan of course”. I was so despondent in my letters. She was worried for my health. She was the only one I could confide the whole truth to. She bade me come to London to be her companion for the season. Perhaps she might be able to find some entertainment to keep me amused and take my mind off my heartache. I have been here in London for several months now. Susan has been wonderful and keeps me quite busy. It has   
helped take the edge off the pain, but late at night when all is quiet, I can not help but think of you and our lost future. I am afraid I am not a very good companion for her. 

“My darling, I am so very sorry. Can you ever find it in your heart to forgive me for my utter lack of thought, for not being the partner you needed. Not thinking of how my actions might look to you and how you would feel. You are so much better at all of this than I am. I have been so closed off for so long. Only responsible to myself. I 

underestimated you at every turn. I am impulsive and always so sure my way is the only way that matters. I am not worthy of your love. Please say you will give me the chance to make it up to you. I love you, Charlotte and I do not think I can survive a life without you in it. You alone own my heart. Can you ever forgive me?” 

Charlotte is silent. He was so humble and apologetic. She was so full of love and hope that she was at a loss for words. Just when she thought all hope was lost, all her dreams were coming true. Sidney was here! He was no longer obligated to another. He had found a way for them to finally be together. When she did not respond Sidney’s heart broke into a thousand pieces. He had poured his heart out to her. He had worked fiendishly to get back to her, and it was not enough. He got up to take his leave. As he reached the threshold Charlotte came back to herself and called out, “Sidney, wait! Of course I can forgive you. I love you too, and I can not live without you either. I have only been existing without you these months, not living at all. Every colorful thing was gray without you in my life and I did not think I would ever see in color again. 

He turned back around and they rushed into each other's arms and just held on. After a while, they heard Lady Susan arriving home. They were not sure how long they had been standing there just holding on to each other, but they abruptly separated and both felt the loss profoundly. It was improper for them to be unchaperoned for so long like this. Sidney quickly asked if he could call again later in the week. He had some business to attend to that would take him out of the city and he would be gone a few days, but no more than four at most. She was disappointed that after finding each other again he had to leave so soon, but she knew she should not be ungrateful. He was a busy business man and had a lot to attend to. She tells him of course he may call on her later in the week. She hopes his business will fare well. He says he will send a letter ahead so she will know when to expect him. He takes her hands in his to say goodbye and gives her a gentle kiss on her lips. Charlotte feels his loss keenly as soon as he is gone from the room, but she has all her hope back for a brilliant future. She greets Susan with the first genuine smile Susan has seen since the regatta in Sandition this past summer.


	5. Chapter 5

Back home at Bedford Place, Sidney is busy at his desk writing letters. One each to Georgianna, Mary, Babington, and Crowe, informing them of his arrival in London and that he hopes to be in Sanditon within a fortnight. One to Lady Denham informing her of the same and requesting the time to meet with her about the plans going forward on the Sanditon project. One to Mr. Heywood asking for an audience tomorrow in the morning, and finally one to his beloved. 

My Dearest Charlotte, 

It was a joy to see you today. Such a huge relief to unburden myself of all that has transpired in the last months since we parted. I am so humbled to have gained your forgiveness. I am not sure that I deserve it or your devotion. I am not a perfect man, far from it. I am so hopeful about our future and I hope that you are feeling the same. I can not wait to conclude my business and get back to you as quickly as humanly possible. Know that I will be thinking of you every minute of every day that I am away from you. I will miss you terribly and I can not wait to see your smiling face again. I have so missed your beautiful smile, your wonderful laugh, your sharp tongue and your witty remarks. I love you so very much my darling. It is almost painful. 

You hold my heart.  
Forever Yours,  
Sidney 

Letters completed, Sidney requests his horse be readied and he heads out of London towards Willingden. He arrived very late in the night at the inn, ordered a hot meal to his room and a hot bath for the morning. He wants to present himself with his best foot forward to his father-in-law, to be. He hopes that Mr. Heywood is an amiable man who will give him a chance to state his case for allowing his daughter to marry him. He feels that in order to gain his trust, he will have to tell him everything about his past and hope that he is as forgiving and warm hearted as his daughter. Sidney knows Charlotte would not want to marry without her father's blessing. After his warm meal he undresses and falls asleep exhausted from his day. He wakes as the sun is rising with the remnants of a peaceful dream of Charlotte on his mind. It was such a pleasant dream. He and Charlotte were on a picnic blanket in the bluebell woods of Sanditon. His head in her lap. She is cradling a sleeping infant by her side. Another small child of maybe two or three years is playing with a set of wooden blocks at his feet. The sky is blue with huge white fluffy clouds. The sun is shining and the birds are singing. Charlotte is running her hand through his hair. He is utterly content. Getting out of bed to those happy thoughts, he rings for his bath to be brought to his room. 

Refreshed, he goes down to the dining room to break his fast. He reads the local paper as he has a leisurely meal. It wouldn’t do to be too early. As Sidney rides up to the Heywood estate it is just as Charlotte described. A rambling farm house that had been added to over the generations. All tan stone with white washed trim and a heavy dark oak front door. Weathered split rail fencing surrounded a rather large, lovely garden. There were several small out buildings and two large barns. Out in the fields the hay had been bailed at the end of last season. To the right side of the property, perhaps a half mile off was a small river. To the left was pasture land as far as the eye could see dotted here and there with a few large oak trees and more cows than Sidney had ever seen in one place. It was magnificent and he could just picture a young Charlotte running wild and free her hair flowing behind her through fields of growing hay. Playing with her siblings, working hard at her chores and helping her mother in the kitchen. The picture in his mind brought a smile to his face. 

Authors Notes:

www.housebeautiful.com/uk/renovate/design/news/a104/homes  
The second house down the page is how I picture the Heywood's Estate house. This one is not big enough for my description, but you get the idea. Stuart/Jacobean 1604-1713.


	6. Chapter 6

Sidney arrived at the front of the house. A boy of about 10 and 5 years came up to take his horse and inquire if he was a Mr. Sidney Parker. Sidney was relieved to know that his letter had proceeded him and that he was expected. He had left London before he had heard if his letter had been received. Sidney answered the boy that yes in fact, he was the same. The boy introduced himself as John Heywood. Shortly a woman came to the front of the house surrounded by four school aged children. There was no doubt in Sidney’s mind that this was Charlotte’s mother. She looked exactly like he thought Charlotte might look in 25 or so years. She was beautiful with a dimpled chin, still mostly dark hair with a few escaping curls around her slightly rounded, and beautiful brown eyes. Sidney smiled a shy smile, bowed and introduced himself. 

Mrs Heywood was slightly taken aback by the rugged beauty of the man bowing before her. He was quite tall with broad shoulders, dark slightly curled hair, dark brown eyes, a lovely charming smile, and a deep soothing voice. Mrs. Heywood invited him into the parlor, curious as to why this brother of Tom Parker's believed he had any business with her husband. She suspected that this might answer some of the questions about why Charlotte had come home from her adventure in Sanditon with a broken heart. Charlotte would never discuss anything negative from her travels, but she knew her daughter and she knew she was heart sick and would talk about it when she was ready. Mrs. Heywood did not like to push her children. Charlotte had gone off to London before Mrs. Heywood could get anything of substance out of her. Now, with the arrival of Mr. Sidney Parker, she believed she had her answers. 

They were just getting everything prepared for afternoon tea. Mrs. Heywood explained that Mr. Heywood and her older sons would be with them in due time and that Sidney could join them for tea in the parlor. Mr. Heywood arrived shortly thereafter and came into the parlor to introduce himself to his guest. Sidney rose to his feet and bowed to Mr. Heywood, introducing himself. They chatted amiably over tea about life on the farm and Sidney’s business dealings. As tea ended, Mr. Heywood invited Sidney for a private audience in his study.


	7. Chapter 7

Suddenly, Sidney was feeling extremely nervous. All the things he had planned to say to Mr. Heywood rushed out of his mind. Mr. Heywood was an observant man. He easily recognized the change in Sidney’s demeanor. This man who had confidently talked about his business and farming in an intelligent way all of the sudden looked rather green in the gills. He chuckled inwardly to himself. Mr. Heywood knew his daughter well and had surmised that she had made an attachment in Sanditon this past summer, and that she had come back with a broken heart. She would never speak on the topic, but he suspected the cause of her heart ache was sitting her before him. He remembered how nervous he was asking his father-in-law for his wife's hand. Sidney appeared even more nervous. Mr. Heywood took pity on him and offered a whiskey to settle his nerves with a knowing look on his face. “I suspect that I know why you are here Mr. Parker, although Charlotte has never spoken a word about it to me. I know my daughter well and I know she came back from Sanditon with a broken heart. I am assuming from your appearance here that you were responsible for that. Do you have an explanation for that Mr. Parker?!” 

This conversation was going more poorly than Sidney expected. He had hoped to have a chance to state his case. He gulped his drink down in one go. Mr. Heywood refilled his glass and just waited for Sidney to respond. “Well Sir, let me start at the beginning. I first met your daughter in the company of my sister-in-law, Mary on the cliff tops just outside of Sanditon...and that is the whole story. “ I am not sure I am not sure I am worthy of your daughter Sir, but I love her with all that I am and I do not think I can live without her. She is the light of my life and I will spend every day I have with her working to be the man she deserves, if you will give me the chance.” 

Mr. Heywood let out a loud sigh at the end of Sidney’s speech. He is astonished by the honesty and integrity of the young man before him. He understands exactly what Charlotte sees in him. Any man that would sacrifice himself and his own happiness for his family the way Sidney had, and then realize and admit to the mistakes he’d made. Then to come up with a solid plan to rectify those mistakes, was worthy of his first born daughter's love. 

Sidney finishes his story, making his pledge and hears Mr. Heywood's deep sigh. Staring at his feet, his whole body deflates. He is sure Mr. Heywood is about to refuse him. He has treated Charlotte so poorly and broken her heart. How could any father forgive him. Mr. Heywood pours Sidney another drink and himself a few fingers. He does not normally partake during the work day, but after that confession, he needs a drink. Sidney stands to go, and bids Mr. Heywood a good day. Mr. Heywood stops him and asks that he sit and finish his drink. Sidney politely declines making his excuses. He needs to get out of there. He needs fresh air. He can’t breathe. Seeing Sidney’s reaction Mr. Heywood again takes pity on him. 

Sidney feels like he is dreaming! Did he really hear the words correctly that just came out of Mr. Heywood's mouth. Impossible! Could it really be true that this man has accepted him? Could he really be so fortunate? He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. He just stared in silence at a smiling Mr. Heywood, offering him a cigar. Sidney had no words. “I seemed to have shocked you into silence Mr. Parker. Did you truly believe I would deny you?” “ Sidney, Sir. Di...Did you really answer in my favor?” “ I did, son, as long as Charlotte will have you. I would be happy to have a man such as yourself as my son-in-law. Sidney still couldn’t believe his ears. He downs his third whiskey of the day, and it is only one in the afternoon. He feels the burn in the back of his throat. This brings him back to his senses and a huge smile breaks out on his face, he starts to laugh. He had forgotten what it felt like to laugh. These last eight months had been so filled with purpose and anxiety. Mr. Heywood chuckles at Sidney’s relief and leans over to light his cigar. They spend the rest of the afternoon discussing Sidney’s plans and talking over the marriage contract. Sidney is invited to stay the night so he can meet the whole family and they can get to know him better. He tells them he will be leaving them at first light. He can not wait to get back to Charlotte. Sidney has a lovely comfortable evening eating a wonderful home cooked meal, talking, and playing charades with the Heywood children. Sidney retires to bed exhausted and happy. The happiest he has felt since before the fire last summer. At dawn, he bids the Heywood’s goodbye, and gathers his belongings at the inn. While he is there he sends a courier with a note off to Charlotte informing her he will be in London the following day and he will call on her at 10 in the morning.


	8. Chapter 8

Charlotte receives Sidney’s love letter the day he leaves on business. She never thought much about marriage. Only that she wanted to marry someone that would treat her as an equal. Someone that she loved and respected and who loved and respected her in turn. When she was on her way to Sanditon last summer, she had no intention of looking for a marriage partner. She was out for adventure and to see some of the world. Have some new experiences. Tying herself to someone was the last thing on her mind. Then, Sidney Parker rode into her life on a carriage. He was grumpy and rude and despite his rugged handsomeness, she really did not think very much of him. In fact she decidedly did not like him at all. They were constantly at odds, and thrown together too much for her liking, even when she tried to avoid him. 

Eventually she found some things she could respect about him. That respect grew slowly to love. How had she gotten so lucky. Most marriages were of the convenient variety, only very few were a love match. Yet, somehow she had found her match in Mr. Sidney Parker. He challenged her and she believed he always would. With all her feelings for him bubbling to the front of her mind, this first letter almost brought her to tears. She was not sure how to feel about him leaving again so soon after they were reunited It had her doubting herself again. Had she been too harsh with him? Had he changed his mind again, surely not...then the letter came. She had no idea her Sidney could be such an eloquent romantic. The way he openly expressed his love was surprising. He had always been so serious and intense in the past, even stern. To know that not only did he have these feelings, but could express his love openly was remarkable. She felt overwhelmed by how much she loved him and finally could relax and trust that he felt the same. She sat down at the writing desk to reply.   
She would send her letter to Bedford Place so it would be there on his return. She wanted him to have the same sense of peace she gained from his most heartfelt thoughts. 

My Dearest Sidney, 

I was so surprised and pleased to receive your letter. I felt so cherished by your words of love. Know this my darling, I feel exactly the same. I will also miss you terribly while you are away and will count the time until I am in your strong loving arms again and we can talk of our future together. 

Yours, with all of my love, Charlotte 

P.S. You have my heart as well. 

The following morning's post had a note from Sidney, she would see him again tomorrow at 10 in the morning. She was beside herself with anticipation and could not settle her mind for the whole day.


	9. Chapter 9

Sidney arrived at Bedford Place exhausted. As much as he needed rest, and as much as all he wanted to do was go directly to his Charlotte, he went to get refreshed and change his clothing. A quick meal and then he would be off to do his errands. On the way back out he noticed a letter on the front vestibule table with unfamiliar but distinctly feminine handwriting. Curiosity outweighed his need to depart quickly and he broke the seal and smiles wide when he sees it is from his beloved. She has answered his letter. These words alone give him a peace like he has never known. She returns his feelings! He can no longer doubt that his feelings are returned. She loves him as he loves her. His heart soars and he takes what feels like his first real breath. He practically skipped down the street, grinning from ear to ear, wishing everyone he saw a good day. He has never felt so joyful. His first stop is to the book shop where he found Charlotte just four days ago, to see if the book he ordered is in. “The fragments of Heraclitus”. Sidney was happy to find that the book had arrived and with his purchase completed, he was on his way to his next stop. 

He had seen a ring in an antique shop a few days back while strolling along the street on the way to his bank. He hoped the ring was still there. As he walked he berated himself for not taking the time to stop when he first saw it. He rounded the corner and found the shop and was disheartened to find that the ring was no longer on display in the window. He decided to stop in and inquire. Sidney was happy to find that the   
display had only been refreshed and the ring in question was still available for sale. The shopkeeper went to retrieve the item. The ring was just as perfect as Sidney remembered. It was exactly what he had in mind. A gold band interspersed with gold flowers and sapphires. He hoped Charlotte would love it as much as he did. 

The shopkeeper informed him that it had an inscription that might peak his interest. When he saw the inscription his heart skipped a beat. He could hardly believe his eyes. In fancy scrolling letters it read,” You Hold My Heart, Forever Yours”. Those were the same words he had written in his letter to Charlotte. He thought the ring was perfect before, now he was positive. With his purchases wrapped and in the inside pocket of his overcoat, he made his way to Lady Susan’s home. He was greeted at the door by the butler who took his Outer coat, his hat and his cane. He was escorted into the drawing room where Lady Susan and Charlotte were sitting to receive morning callers. 

Authors Notes:  
https://www.onefabday.com/az-guide-alternative-gemstones-engagement-rings   
The first picture here is similar to what I have in mind for Charlotte's ring.


	10. Chapter 10

Sidney bowed low to Lady Susan and greeted her first as was her due as the Lady of the house. Then he did the same for Charlotte. He thanked Lady Susan for allowing him to call on Charlotte this morning. The Lady smiled warmly at him and excused herself so the lovers could have a few minutes to themselves. Sidney took Charlotte's hands in his, admiring her in her pale blue morning dress. He leaned down and kissed the palm of her hand. It was so intimate it gave Charlotte goose flesh and made her blush. Sidney thought the flush on her face was very comely. 

Charlotte was so overjoyed to see Sidney. They both began to speak at the same time. “I’ve missed you. I am so glad you are here”. They both laughed and said, “No, you first”. Charlotte gave Sidney his favorite smile and told him how happy she was that he was here, and that she had not expected him back so soon. 

Sidney also told Charlotte again how much she missed her and that he had hurried his business along so that he could quickly return to her. Sidney thought he would be nervous to ask his question, but in the moment felt nothing but calm. He was already positive of her answer even before the words left his lips. They had been through so much and waited so long. She had miraculously forgiven him. He had secured her father's blessing and their financial future. He was secure in his love. As he took her hands and got down on one knee, Charlotte’s eyes grew wide and glassy with un-fallen tears. She had a beautiful sure smile on her face. “Charlotte, you hold my heart and the missing part of my soul. I love you and I want to spend my life showing you just how much. Will you make me the happiest of men and consent to be my wife. Marry me, Please.” 

With happy tears rolling down her cheeks because she believed this moment would never happen, she looked Sidney in the eyes and said, “ Yes, Sidney. Nothing would make me happier then to be your wife. I love you”. Smiling her favorite smile Sidney leaned in slowly to place a tender kiss on Charlotte’s lips. Then he asked for her for her hand and slipped his ring   
on the fourth finger of her right hand. It would be placed on the fourth finger of her left hand at their wedding ceremony. Charlotte was in tears all over again. She can not believe Sidney was thoughtful enough to plan to get her a ring, let alone one as beautiful as this one. 

“I thought the sapphires were a perfect complement to your beautiful brown eyes. I saw this in a shop window last week and thought of you. I was lucky enough this morning that it was still there. Look, it has an inscription.” Charlotte sheds more tears upon reading the inscription. “It is just what you wrote in your letter to me. How did you get them to do the inscription so quickly?” “It was fate my darling. This ring was meant to be yours as a symbol of our love. It was already written that way when I found it!” “Oh, that is so lovely. It truly was fate then”. 

Charlotte takes his face in her hands, enjoying the feel of his several day old beard, and kisses him again. Susan enters the room a few minutes later and is ecstatic for the young lovers. They spend the rest of the afternoon talking about plans for the wedding. It is decided they will marry in 3 weeks in Sanditon. Susan insists, because it will take that amount of time for her to gift Charlotte the perfect wedding gown. It is also decided that they will live in Sanditon full time, because that is where they met and they both enjoy the quiet beach town to the busy city. They will retain Bedford Place for the times when Sidney will need to be in London for business.


	11. Chapter 11

The next few weeks go by in a whirlwind of activity. Dress fittings, letters back and forth to Willingden and Sanditon daily and sometimes more than once, with all the details to be ironed out. The Heywood's would come and stay in Sanditon for the week before the wedding. Sidney and Charlotte will travel together with one of Susan’s maids as chaperon. Susan will arrive two days before the ceremony. 

As the day arrives Sidney can not sit still. He is so anxious to be married to his beloved. Time seems to tick by at an excruciatingly slow pace. Babington and Crowe keep him company at the church as he paces back and forth on the dais. “Good God Man, you're making me nervous, and I am not the one getting married, says Crowe”. Sidney just smiles good naturedly and replies, “ It is not nerves my friend. It is happy anticipation”. “Better you them me”, Crowe states rather heartily. All three gentlemen laugh. Finally, the guests are all sat. Mendelssohn’s wedding march begins to play. Sidney holds his breath. The doors open and Mr. Heywood enters with Charlotte on his arm. When she looks up and catches Sidney’s eyes he slowly lets out his pent up breath. She is the most exquisite thing his eyes have ever beheld. 

Charlotte thought she would be more nervous then she felt. The only discomfort he felt now was remembering the awkward conversation her mother had with her the previous night. She hoped she would not disappoint her new husband with her naivete on their wedding night. As he walked down the aisle towards him, his only thoughts other than how beautiful she was were to calculate how many hours it would be before he could finally be alone with her and show her just how much she meant to him.  
The ceremony was simple and traditional. Only family and close friends in attendance. As the ceremony drew to an end and they were pronounced man and wife, Sidney leaned close and gave Charlotte a chaste kiss on her lips, and he smiled down at her with the most beautiful smile she had ever seen on his handsome face. 

Sidney looked at his wife with elated satisfaction. He felt so proud to call her his for the rest of his life. Charlotte felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have found Sidney. What a happy accident the Parker's ended up needing her help on the road to Willingden. What a small chance it had been for them to meet. Now as she smiled up at her husband she marveled that this brilliant, beautiful man was hers for the rest of her life. 

The wedding breakfast was a larger affair. It was still crisp, but the tables had been set in the church gardens under large white tents. The tents were all decorated with spring flowers, woven into garlands by the women in the town. They were lucky to have a beautiful sunny day. The food was plentiful and most of their acquaintances from the little sleepy beach town were in attendance to help celebrate. After the cake had been cut and the champagne toast drunk, Sidney and Charlotte made their goodbyes. They would spend the night in the old Parker place outside of town. Charlotte had fallen in love with it and they would make it their home after the honeymoon. Driving in the carriage Sidney held Charlotte close, placing tender kisses on her hair and neck, content just to be close to her at last. 

Charlotte smiles up at her new husband and asks where he is taking her on their honeymoon. He asks if she really wants to know, or would she like it to remain a surprise? She says she is too impatient to enjoy surprises, so she would like to know. “Paris, my love, I am taking you to Paris”. “How did you know I dreamed of seeing Paris on your arm, Mr. Parker?” “Lady Susan, of course”. “Of course,” Charlotte replies, and smiles adoringly. She leans towards him and takes his face in her hands to give her new husband a passionate kiss. Before they can get too heated, they have arrived at their new home. Sidney helps Charlotte down from the carriage. He then promptly scoops her up in his arms and walks them over the threshold to the beginning of their life together. 

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to comment


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